My family still invites my abusive ex to family...

My family still invites my abusive ex to family events. Says "we like them" and "it's not our drama." They know what happened. They know the abuse. They believe me. But they still invite him. Because he's charming. Because he brings good wine. Because they don't want to "take sides." Not taking sides is taking his side. Letting him come is choosing him over me. So I don't go. I spend holidays alone. Because safety matters more than tradition.