I told my friends you're boring. Basic. Not that...

I told my friends you're boring. Basic. Not that great. Made you a joke. They laugh. I laugh. Everyone laughs. At your expense. Behind your back. You think they like you. They tolerate you. For me. Because I asked. I should defend you. Should speak up. Should be proud. But I'm not. And I don't know what that says about me. About us. About any of this.