Cory

Cory… I loved you more than I had ever loved anyone before. But I know you didn’t love me. I was a commodity. You loved the way I loved you but I wasn’t valued as a person. I wanted to marry you. I wanted to be with you forever and then one day you ghosted me like I had never existed. I will admit I fell apart. I cried. I begged. I tried so hard to get you to love me in return. But there was no return. Only me. As my life fell apart after your departure I struggled. I tried to reach out to you. I lost all self respect I had to beg a man I know never cared for me to love me. And it turned out the way anyone but me could have predicted. I don’t know how to let you go. Your absence is felt every day. I still love you even though you proved to me that I was nothing but fodder. It makes me hate myself. I hate myself because I love you still. I hate that I don’t expect more from myself. More FOR myself.